Reflections

What is in a reflection pool? There are distortions. We don't really see ourselves clearly. The warps and ripples stretch and shrink the image to only a semblance of the true being. I don't know how to view myself right now. A career is ended...teaching, not only for pay, but homeschooling. 19 years of homeschooling. 4 1/2 years of public/private school teaching...2 1/2 at the beginning before family, and 2 at the end. So who am I really? I'm still the daughter of a Precious Heavenly Father. I will always be that. It will never change. In this life or the next. That will never change. What my Father wants at this point is not clear. I'm willing. I wait to hear. It's time to be still and know He is God. It time to lay down all expectations and responsibilities of the past and pick up a different set. Maybe I don't really want to see myself anyway. It's time to see His face more clearly. It's time to rearrange my priorities. It's not an empty nest, for now there are adult offspring living in my house (for a season). I don't know what that looks like, but again, it's time to be quiet and listen. The ripples will slowly settle. The water is still and clear. Perhaps there is a more humble person staring back at me, one who has seen the hand of God and relinquished control to Him. Possibly there's a more hopeful expression in trusting and not wrestling. There's a vision of a teen staring in the waters on a pond on the old farm. I brought my frustrations there. I watched the ripples. The still presence of the Lord always washed over me. I stood up and returned to the world at peace. That was many years ago. Wash it away again. It's time to walk away. Maybe this time I'll leave a spray of flowers in tribute for the Faithfulness I've experienced through all these years. Thank you, Lord. You never left me or forsook me.